Worship Leader Ad-Lib

I have been leading worship for about 12 years now. I have lead 5 people in a living room to leading 3000 at outdoor events and everything in-between. When I started it was "Lord I lift your name on...(pause while changing chords)...high." Worship music has come a long way since then but one thing that remains the same is what I call the "Worship Leader Ad-Lib". It sounds like this, "Lord I lift Your name on high, yes I do Lord, Lord I love to sing Your praises." See what I did there? I threw in a little extra in-between the lines, just to let everyone know that I'm serious. Here is another example: "Jesus You've become my everything, oh yeah, I will stand for You in the face of the trial." That one is a little more subtle. Darrell Evans took this art form to a level that was previously believed to be non-existent with his "Freedom" album throwing in the unforgettable gem "Come and take a spin with the Lord".

My all-time favorite however is the "Sing it out". Usually when the song has come to it's natural end but the worship leader decides to sing the chorus "one more time" he or she will give direction in the form of "sing it out" indicating that he/she expects a greater volume level from the congregation. Also "sing it out" can be used in the event that the WL forgets the words.

Here are some others:

Let's put our hands together.
Come on.
Yes You are Lord.
Oh we worship You.

*I don't know how I forgot "Lift it up"

Song titles into Christianese

I was thinking of some old song titles and how they would translate into Christianese.

You Shook me all Night Long:
What the tambourine said to the worship leader's wife after the youth worship shut-in.

Cashmere:
What the worship leader's V-neck argyle sweater is made of.

Jump:
The only acceptable form of dancing in the church.

Panama:
Where the short term missions trip was this year.

Smoke on the Water:
What happened when the fog machine fell into the baptismal.

Love Potion #9:
What's really in those bottles of oil at the altar.

Twist and Shout:
How you get into the 1 suit you own when you visit your grandparents church.

Purple Haze:
What you're pretty sure you saw coming from the fog maching after they fished it out of the baptismal.

Stairway to Heaven:
That stairway to the balcony that always has the "Closed" sign hanging from a rope across the stairs.

Where the Streets Have No Name:
The city where the church is that you are trying to find.

Man in the Mirror:
The guy in the bathroom who takes forever to wash his hands thus blocking everyone else from washing their hands. (I don't really have a problem with this guy cause at least he washes right?)

Danger Zone:
5 foot perimeter around any and all refreshments for the adult Sunday School class. As in, "Stay away from our donuts punk, don't think I don't see you there in the danger zone!"


I'm sure I will continue this list in the future. Thoughs? Suggestions?

More song titles translated into Christianese

Here are some more song titles translated into Christianese.

1999(Prince)
The year the church switched from overhead projectors to powerpoint projectors.

Cruel Summer (Banannarama)
That year when VBS was 2 weeks long.

Don't Dream It's Over (Crowded House)
Pastor is preaching the long version of his sermon today.

Africa (Toto)
Where the short term missions trip is next year.

Every Rose has it's Thorn (Poison)
There was a wedding or a funeral on Friday and now we have semi-fresh flowers to put out Sunday morning.

Funky Town (Pseudo Echo)
What the children's ministry is named.

Right Here Waiting for You (Richard Marx)
Where your mom will be and what she will be doing in the car while you are at the friday night youth event.

Hit me with Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar)
Your pastor is hosting a Q and A session during the business meeting.

Still Haven't found what I'm Looking For (U2)
What you say when you've attended every church in town.

I want you to want me (Cheap Trick)
When the new pastor is trying out.


Ok that's 10 more. Probably more to come.

Church Friday

Today is the first day of the annual Pastor-is-out-of-town week-long free-for-all bonanza. Wow, there are a lot of dashes in that sentence. I'm not even sure if I'm using them correctly to be quite honest. OK so it's not really a free for all bonanza but it does feel a bit like the days in school when we would have a substitute teacher for a day. Or the days, few and far between, when it was sunny enough in the greater Seattle area to have P.E. outside. To maintain an order of semblance, those of us who were not on vacation did our best to keep the universe in order by having service programming and music/media team meetings anyway. Had we not done so, today could have felt a little too much like a Thursday. If you are not aware, Thursday is unofficially the "Church Friday". Around here we take Friday off so we can have two consecutive days off instead of the "Monday and Saturday off" model. Which is nice. I've done it both ways and consider the current dispensation to be greater than the former. When we come in to the office on Thursday we all greet each other with a hearty "Happy Church Friday!" Also when we see each other randomly at Starbucks or wherever on actual Friday, we say "Happy Church Saturday." You'll notice the lack of an exclamation point at the end of that greeting. It is usually because we are in a crowded Starbucks in Fairwood* and it just isn't appropriate to shout greetings in Christianese there. You won't find Church Friday and Church Saturday on regular or "secular" calendars but they are found on official church calendars ecumenically. So today is Monday or, as it is less commonly referred to: "Church Tuesday", but it felt a little like Church Friday which is of course actual Thursday. It sounds complicated but after a while, you get the hang of it and it becomes "Second Nature", which of course is "Church Nature". As in: "We had our service programming meeting today" "Was it weird without Pastor Troy and Jana there?" "No, we've done it so many times it was like Church Nature."


*I motion that the Fairwood Starbucks should be deemed the official Starbucks of New Life Church and that all off-site church business/ministry meetings be conducted there.